born this way...

i did not wake up one day and decide i was a perv, freak what have you...i have always been this way i think...my friend and i were talking the other nite...trying to figure out our beginnings in kink and the naughty...

i grew up in a middle-class close knit family...just regular...my dad always a charmer and my mom funny and smart...my sisters and i loved each other and bickered...same as many of the families we knew...i was loved and cared for appropriately...my childhood was good...

my vote is nature not nurture...for as long as i can remember...i "looked" for the dirty parts in music, movies also i always rooted for the "bad" lovers that would usually never get the "good" girl...i read "the happy hooker" and so much jackie collins it was nutty...i found my father's playboys...and i poured over penthouse forums at my girl scout camp...my barbie dolls had soft core adventures all the time...naked and slutty on our green lawn under well trimmed shrubs...

now one might argue that most children will look for the dirty parts in media and in his or her general world...yeah?...did most tweens look forward to the "consensual" rape scene in "dangerous liasons"?...or ALWAYS want the bad guy to get the girl (i wanted james spader to get molly ringwald in pretty in pink). my guess is that there were a few of us that wanted the filthy, dirty, unheard of to occur...

i remember being in junior high school and really wanting to be molested by the boys in the hallway...and when i was groped i had to pretend to be annoyed and offended...

i lost my virginity at the ripe old age of 22...i wasn't "in love"...the young man and i were not dating...he wanted me and i wanted to have sex...i learned to cum at the age of 20...as a young person i was always "looking" for relief...but i did not know where to find the elusive certain something until i was in my mid 30's and then i had to figure out how to be happy...i came out to myself as a woman who needed the perv...

as i continue my journey of discovery in my 40's i have realized that perv is ok...i was born this way...